The Invitation

An invitation may be warm and informal while still supplying the particulars by which another person must arrange his evening. The kindest wording in the world is of limited use if the recipient has to ask when he is expected, where he is going, and whether supper means a kitchen table or a hired hall.

Method

Say what is proposed, then give the date, beginning time, place, and likely finishing time where it would be useful. “Would you join us for supper at seven on Saturday the eighteenth, at our flat?” contains nearly everything required.

Mention the scale and dress when either might be uncertain. A guest should know whether supper means four people at the kitchen table or forty beneath a hired awning. Ask about dietary requirements when food is involved.

Give a reasonable date for reply if arrangements depend upon numbers. Phrase it as information rather than threat: “If you can let me know by Tuesday, I shall order the fish accordingly.”

Address the question of companions directly. If partners or children are included, say so; if the invitation is intended for one person, wording of equal clarity will spare everybody the embarrassment of discovering the fact later.

Receive a refusal with good grace. “I am sorry you cannot come; another time” closes the matter handsomely and leaves the friendship undamaged.

Common errors

“We should get together sometime” is an expression of goodwill rather than an arrangement. A mysterious silence about the scale or company may also make a simple evening appear more formidable than it is, while pressure for an immediate reply gives the invitation something of the character of a summons.