Dealing With Ageing

Age is apt to announce itself first in small domestic treacheries: a stair that seems higher than formerly, a collar that sits strangely at the neck, or a barber who asks, with professional delicacy, whether the eyebrows are to be reduced.

Most men imagine age as a distant constitutional problem, akin to reform of the House of Lords. Then a knee begins to object to stairs, sleep becomes negotiable, and the face in the glass appears to have been left in a drawer. At this point many choose either panic or neglect, those two shabby cousins who account for so much unnecessary misery.

Alarm tends to buy powders, while neglect has a talent for presenting itself as toughness. A man ignores a pain, refuses an appointment, laughs off exhaustion, and calls this stoicism; it is really poor administration, much like praising a house for endurance while the leaking roof brings down the plaster.

See a doctor when something changes and refuses to change back. Blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes screening, bowel screening, skin checks, vaccinations, dental care, vision and hearing: these are maintenance, however much men like to pretend otherwise. The exact schedule depends on your age, family history and country, so obtain advice from a qualified clinician, preferably one whose consulting room contains fewer photographs of his abdomen than the average online tablet merchant.

Walk often and undertake some regular exercise which preserves strength, balance, and mobility before their absence becomes public information. No costume of fanaticism is required; the aim is sufficient muscle for ordinary use and joints which remember more than the shape of a chair. Begin modestly, learn proper form, and leave feats of pride to those with younger backs.

Eat in a manner that suggests you expect to live in your body tomorrow. Protein, vegetables, fibre, enough water, and less alcohol than you think you are getting away with: these are plain provisions, and plain provisions are generally where health begins. If food has become punishment, obsession or secret theatre, get help. A man can be vain in both directions.

Sleep remains part of the body’s repair, and becomes less forgiving of irregular hours with age. Reduce alcohol late in the evening and leave the telephone outside the bedroom, unless the opinion of a badly informed stranger is truly the thought with which you wish to end the day.

Friendship deserves deliberate attention, which men who service a car and polish their shoes with regular care sometimes leave entirely to accident. Write, invite, apologise where necessary, and visit while these acts are still part of ordinary life; age narrows a man’s circle quickly enough without his assistance.

Accept visible age without turning decline into a hobby. Have the hair cut in a manner which acknowledges the current facts, wear the spectacles, and use hearing aids when they are needed; making every companion repeat himself preserves a fiction at public expense.

The point is to become older without becoming careless, frightened or boring on the subject of your own joints. Youth is frequently badly dressed, badly slept and in debt; it deserves less nostalgia than it receives.